T'was Night Before Christmas in Nashville

Twas the Night Before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a Nashvillian was stirring, not even Allison Kraus.

Titan jerseys were hung in closets with care

In hopes that Albert Hanesworth would soon find repair.

Musicians were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of #1 singles all danced in their heads.

Mrs. Dean in her dress, and Karl in his cap

Had just sped through Chief Serpas' speed trap.

When out of Centennial Park, there arose such a clatter

Karl sprang from the driver's seat to see what was the matter.

First to the Parthenon, he flew away quick

Then to Tootsies only stopping to steal a purple brick.

The moon shone across the Cumberland that night

Giving the light of midday even showing Exit/In within sight.

When, what to his tired eyes should appear,

But Bill Frist and eight tiny white-tailed deer.

And then an F-150 came crashing so quick

From the tailpipes thunder, he knew it was good ole St. Nick.

Faster than Chris Johnson, his elves they came

He whistled and hollered and called them by name,

Now Jeff! Now Martha! Now Joe and Martina!

On Howard! On Barry! On Trace and Jo Dee Messina!

To the top of the General Jackson! To the top of the boat!

Now row away! Row away! Row away all!

As Interstate 24 at 4:30

They all got in line looking so 'purty'.

So up, up the Cumberland all the friends they flew

With a boat full of toys, and St. Nicolas too.

And, then in a moment, he saw from a distance

The General Jackson flying with little resistance.

As Karl was yawning and turning around,

Down Broadway St. Nicholas came in a bound.

He was dressed in all camo from his head to toes,

His clothes were all messy from his earlier trip to Lowe's .

A bundle of toys he had flung over his shoulder

He looked like a man trying to carry a boulder.

In his eyes you could tell, a good year it had been

In his hand a Powerball ticket, he was lucky to win.

He carried trophies for the Titans and for the 'Dores,

Even brought for the Vols some off-season chores.

The stump of a cigarette he held tight in his teeth,

The smoke ring encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face, and a little beer belly,

That shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was Southern as could be with a twang in his speech,

Then Karl noticed it wasn't really St. Nick, he let out a screech.

A wink of the eye and a drop of the jaw,

Soon let him know that he'd done nothing against the law.

He spoke not a word, and packed up his bag

But stop to fill up Karl's pockets with dixie swag.

And holding his finger way up above his head

He gave a last nod, and up Broadway he fled.

He sprang to his horse, to his friends gave a holler,

And away they all flew leaving Karl with a dollar.

But I heard him yell as they rode out of sight...

Merry Christmas to y'all, and to y'all a good night!

Cheerleaders vs. Warriors

This isn't the time to sit on the sidelines and cheer on your buddies.

This is the time to fight for your life.

No one else is going to do it for you, because no one else can.

This time it's up to you.

And if you are just sitting back hoping that the best will happen...

It won't.

You'll lose your family, your friends, your life.

This is your chance.

Take advantage of it.

Use your resources. Have your friends help you.

Listen to them and what has helped them.

Share with them what has helped you.

Don't just say what sounds good.

Tell the truth.

Because this is your chance.

And you don't always get second chances like these.

So get in the game

And fight.

Fight for your life, because that's what we're doing here.

There's a time and a place where cheerleaders are good.

Your friends, your family can be your cheerleaders

And it helps.

But you can't be a cheerleader in your own life.

You have to be a warrior.

In fewer words, this is what he said. So courageously.

And although I am not in his shoes. 

I kinda feel the same way. I am trying my best to understand.

Daily I watch others from the sidelines.

Listen to their heartaches. See their setbacks.

And, now, I want to get in there. 

I want to be a 'warrior' for myself. And for others.

Because someone said I was worth it.

And I do believe that he is worth it. That she is worth it.

That our neighbors. Our strangers. Our friends. Our acquaintances.

Are worth it.

Life in Too Many Words

Throwback to 2.26.08

Today I climbed a mountain. Tonight my whole body is sore. The kind of sore that makes you believe that you did something good. That makes you want to pass out because you are so exhausted. But still you lie awake, your back on the bed, thinking how great the day was.

 

There was something symbolic about the whole adventure. Nothing like conquering a mountain in life and having some pictures to show. Sure, they may not even touch an explanation of what was going on inside. But, everytime you see yourself in that place, you´ll know. That´s where you were when you were dying inside and then you climbed up out of your hole and saw the view from the top. Yes, others will never understand the true story behind the view from the top. But, that doesn't even matter, because you know what it´s like to be free.

 

Free from worry. Free from pain. Released it all into the sky while you were climbing by. Free from others. Free from yourself. Saw your soul all alone for the first time in years. Free from the future. Free from the past. Breathed in one breathe and nothing else.

 

Nothing else compares to the fullness of life. When you have it you forget about the bad things, the good things, the past things, the future things. You cannot handle more than the moment because you know how big it is. how small it is. There is no possible way to fathom more.

 

Just breathe in and out. And hold on. It´s going to be a ride that gives ups and downs, but mostly only twists and turns. Because you decide what this moment holds. Sometimes things will be brought to you. Sometimes things will be torn from you. But as long as you need it, you will have yourself. So, decide now how you will use yourself to have the best moments. To give the best moments to your friends. And family. And strangers. 

No Cloudy Days

The other day I was outside with the weather all dreary... and i was thinking, 'man, i really wish that it was sunny today.' But then I thought how this statement was funny, because the sun is just as bright today as it was during the sunniest days in July and every day in between. Just because the tilt of the earth changes and the dark clouds gather over Nashville, it doesn't mean that the sun is any less bright than the day before. 

When Peter walked on water, he started falling because He lost sight of God and he saw the wind. It's easy for me to see the dreary weather today, the tough economy, all the problems that world says we have. But for me, I have to remember that those better times are coming. There are things that are constant in this life. Hope. Faith. GOD. I have to keep my eyes on what is constant to keep from falling. If I focus on the wind, I will fall.

This hope makes bad days good for me. And it reminds me that just as the sun is always shining, my God is always loving. 'I AM' was and is and is to come. 

The Smell of Heat.

My aunt turned to me and swore up and down that she could smell the heat. She was sitting on about the sixth row bleachers of the football stadium. And sure enough, as soon as she said it, I spotted the heaters that had been turned on to warm the home football team. I had to think about this again... before we saw the heaters, we smelled the heat. But heat doesn't smell, or does it?

Well, not exactly, but evidence of heaters being on can smell. You know... when you haven't used the heat in your house for 7 months and then you turn it on for the first time again. Then, you can smell heat. You know relief is coming as soon as you smell it.


As I was thinking about it this, it hit me. This is how I want to be. I am not Jesus. Sure, I want to be as much like Him as I can be. But I will never be Him. I will never be able to rescue people. Instead, I desire for people to tell by my life that someone far greater than myself has rescued me. I want to be the sign that relief is coming. I want to be the smell of heat.

Time to Rejoice

'Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the peace of God will be you.' -Philippians 4:4-9

And this is why the picture of the ball in the leaves. I saw this outside today while just trying to take in the last bit of the leaves before they are gone. This time of year is about rejoicing for me. Whether it's the idea of the upcoming holidays, the now undefeated Titans, or the simply beautiful creation that are these leaves. Whatever it is, it sure makes it easy to rejoice and to enjoy the good things in life. I can see God in these things.

God in Grits.

Looking into his eyes

I see his soul.

Bare. Barely there. Barely clothed.

Sore. Aching for warmth. Aching for truth.

And this morning he sees God.

Sees God in grits.

He never had been given a lot.

But he never complained.

Thankful for these grits.

It was his first warm meal in a while.

First smile and 'good morning', too.

Any sane man there was touched

By the way he lit up when the tray met his hands.

And this is why we do it.

Whether it be grits or oatmeal

An orange or a slice of bread,

That he or she may see God in it

And know that they are loved.

All Closed Up

A fist.

Previously used by this same man to get a felony.

Now used to tell a story.

To tell a story about love and Jesus.

And this is what he said:

'When you stay closed up like this, (showing his fist), nothing can get in to you. Your heart is closed. You can't give and, on top of that, you can't receive. You're all closed up.' 

The man he was talking to was confused. He'd never thought about it that way before. He always thought to avoid the action in hopes of keeping what he had to himself.

But the man showing his fist described that you can't stay all balled up for very long. You get tired and you give out. Whatever you had in your hand that you were gripping so tightly falls to the ground. And in the end, you lost it too.

Instead, he said leave your hand open. It requires no extra effort to keep it there. People can come and take from you. But that's okay because others will come and give to you. It's give and be given to. If you drop your own, then someone else will add back to your hand.

I had never thought about it like this before. But I think my friend is right. Spiritual growth does not come from keeping your gifts, your learning, your faith to yourself. Growth only comes from sharing with others and having them share with you.

Human.

His son plays football in the big league and just bought a real nice condo in the city of big shoulders. He is proud. You can see it in his smile when he talks about him. Today, he just needs a little extra butter to down these grits. It's been a tough week and, well, he's gonna need a good breakfast to have a good day.

Her allergies are worse this fall. You know the ragweed is bad this year. But she looks forward to the relief that winter will bring. And this morning she waits outside for her husband as he grabs a warm meal. But then finds out she can come in and eat. Embarrassed she's so excited, she tries not to smile too big.

His mother always made the best chocolate pudding. Two gallons a week he swears he must have gone through. Seems the telling makes the story bigger every time it's told. But more than anything he wants to be able to work hard enough to make his mom proud.

Being here, you can't help but notice that these people are real. Real like you. Real like me.

They have beating hearts. Often broken. Often scarred. But beating.

They have hope. Not in themselves. Not in others. In only One.

He may not have a good resume.

She may just be hanging on with her fingernails.

But they are. Trying. Working. Serving.

And this is how they are living. Yes, living.

Blessings in Surprise

"Romans 12. That's what you are. Romans 12.... Have you read it?"

Yes, I have. It's one of my favorites.

"Well, that's what you are. A living sacrifice. That's what it means. You."

I could feel my eyes swelling with tears. I changed the subject so he wouldn't be able to see how it touched me. If only he knew how little I felt at most times. Struggling so long with those questions that everyone asks themselves. Am I worth it? 

And I had come into this place, trying my best to bless others. Leaving each day more blessed than when I came.

I had no idea when I decided to do this, that this is what I was in for. Sometimes not knowing what life has in store creates some much needed surprises. Surprises that keep us headed down this path we didn't think we were good enough for.

In Need of a Fix

She throws her head back. For another shot. Another shot of whiskey.

Another shot she hopes will kill the pain. Another shot that will only delay it.

She cries out that she wants another life. That this one isn’t good enough anymore.

Really she’s crying out for help. Thinking she’s the one that isn’t good enough.

Her job isn’t fulfilling. Her relationships aren’t fulfilling. She isn’t fulfilled.

Life for her is about the next fix. She is the sum of her urges.

But when will she see?

That she is worth dying for. That she is loved. That she can love.

But she says she’s scared to quit drinking because she’ll have to face her problems.

Just wish she could see there’s someone that will face her problems with her.

If it were up to our own strength, no one could do it. No one is perfect. No one is strong enough alone. And I don’t expect her to be.

God knows my own mistakes that I’ve made. And he knows the struggles I've had. But knowing my pain, I ache for her to be free.

I’d give anything to give her another shot.

This time another shot at life. A different one. Another shot at being free from this.

More than Orange Juice

'His grace is sufficient' he said as he tossed the empty gallon of orange juice into the trash can. His grace is sufficient.

This morning, after the daily routine of cooking breakfast and serving the residents, the kitchen manager explained to the group of volunteer residents that God's grace is enough. Someone had sneaked into the pantry and helped himself to a gallon of orange juice. The manager explained to all the volunteers that this not only hurts others, but it hurts the thief even more.

This is the gist of what he said: 'When you go after whatever you want and disregard others, you end up in bad places. I know for a fact all of us ended up here because of bad decisions that we've made, but the good news is that we don't need all that other stuff. We know that God will provide even when it seems we have nothing. Because his grace is sufficient. I've been married for 30 years and since I've been in this program, I haven't been able to see my wife. But I know that it's worth it. I know God will provide. And I know that it will be better. It's a labor of love and it requires continual work, not just showing up for random days when you feel like it.'

Without knowing this man, I felt like I knew him. He had emptied his soul, because he was pretty sure that's all he had left. And he was willing to give it up for others.

"Wow." I thought to myself. He thought that he was addressing the group of residents that had worked hard to serve others that morning. But, no, he was certainly addressing me. It was my bad decisions that brought me here. No, I may not be living here like the other residents, but certainly my sin has made me realize that there is much more to this world than me. It's what brought me through those entrance doors. And I thank God for that. And I thank God that His grace IS enough. 

For so long, I haven't been able to forgive myself for where I've gone wrong. But now, I realize I will never be able to move on, to learn, and to help others until I forgive myself and allow God to forgive me. Everyone has done wrong, it's those that are able to stop and transform themselves that will be able to use the bad for good and impact others. And it's here in this place, that I learned that serving others, certainly has a bigger impact on the servant than on the ones being served. It is this transformation that makes a life good. To be able to serve the lowest and the highest man on the totem pole as your equal, because he is.